whew it's hot!

I've been spending a lot of time in the garden! I was planning on finally posting pictures of our new raised bed (which is awesome btw) but by the time I was done planting my new rose bush, it was too dark. Just my luck :)

So instead I have different pics. I spent a couple hours today grooming my dogs. I know, my life is exciting right?

M is in the field, so I've been left to my own devices, what can I say?

But anyway, look at my boys!

This is Charley. He's a rescue and he's about 2 1/2. He was pulled from death row by a sweet lady the DAY BEFORE he was scheduled to be euthanized. He was left in a box at the pound as a puppy . He was so dirty and covered in fleas, they didn't know he was white.

Charley couldn't be a sweeter, lovable dog. I hate to think too much about his past because it was such a close call. I was told he's a Parson Jack Russell mix

This is Guinness, he wouldn't hold still for a pic haha! He's the dog I've had the longest, and he's spoiled rotten (they all are). I've had him since 2007. He's a full blood Cairn Terrier (like Toto) and I've pretty much mangled his breed standard haircut, but the poor thing was overgrown and needed some relief :)

Guinness is my baby! He's the best, even though he's really stubborn, he's just about the smartest dog I've ever seen. He's really sweet and quirky. Cairns are known for their expressive eyes, and it's amazing what he seems to understand.

Do you have a dog?

No Other Outlet

I normally wouldn't post this but, I've got no other outlet so, why not?

15 months ago, I had a fiance just home from 15 months away with the Army.

(they say that you need the same amount of time to re-adjust as you were apart)

The time has flown by, since the homecoming. We're married now! Life goes on, right?

But it's not that simple.

While my husband was gone, I changed immensely. I've always been independent, but we've been together about 7 years, and going from that to being truly alone for over a year, is a different kind of independence. I, of course, have friends and a little family who were distractions, but most of the time I was on my own, doing my own thing.

M also changed too. This wasn't his first deployment, he'd been there in '03 for a year as well, and that time was much more scary, and he saw combat on a daily basis. This deployment there was obviously a certain element of danger. But he never saw combat this time, never fired a round, etc.. it was a completely different type of year. If that makes any sense...

So naively naturally I expected him to come home relatively the same, and normal old M. You can only guess what will happen during re-integration, but I thought we'd have an easier time. A smoother transition and then on with our lives.

But it didn't happen.

He came home quieter, much less outgoing. He has a TBI, from an explosion is '03 which complicates things. He has PTSD, it makes him withdrawn and he can't focus, has no motivation. He has severe road rage (he's in a Transportation unit, so he was always driving while deployed) which has led to some pretty scary situations. No ambition, never wants to do anything, can't be bothered to try and so on.

But worse than that, we barely even speak anymore. And when we do, it ALWAYS becomes a fight. Theres no way to prepare for what happens after a deployment. Every single situation is different. I've seen at least a dozen marriages end, just with soldiers from M's unit. I know of only 2 couples that are ok, but they seem to be the exception to the rule.

I've done so much research and we've been going to counseling on and off (whenever the VA can find the time for us, or him solo)

It really sucks to not be able to enjoy ANY part of being a newlywed. It's like I married a stranger. I want my fiance back. I'm pretty much heartbroken.

Happy Memorial Day

Video Link up Week 9:

Happy Memorial Day! I helped friends move yesterday, and we planted our garden today! It's been so hot, summer is finally here and I'm glad for that!

check out the original video and link up too!

Deployment (again): Video linkup, week 9

Birdie's List

I think this type of list is what other's call a "Honey Do" list. I don't make lists for my honey, (or ever call him that) but anyway, this list is for me!

My house hasn't been renovated or updated since 1975. Ah, the era of wood paneling and purple shag carpet (2 layers, different purples). Everything about it needs SOMETHING done and I'm working on having all of it done by the end of the year.

It is remarkably cheap to renovate when all the labor is free! Plus, I'm the biggest penny pincher you're likely to ever find so, I'm surprisingly resourceful. We get some items from Habitat for Humanity's Restore, usually the big things (doors, vanity cabinet etc..) and some from Home Depot or Ace Hardware, if there's a great deal. We recently found a store called Ollie's that carries Pergo laminate flooring for .69 a sq. ft. which is a huge bargain! Every single room in my house has different flooring, and eventually we'll install the laminate in every room except the bathroom and kitchen, which I plan to tile.

So for the sake of accountability, this is what we've yet to do. I'm sure the list will grow, but as of today:

1. Rake. (house sat empty for years and the grass is in terrible shape. We've been here for 3 rs and it's about 30% better than it was! We have to rake a LOT and spread grass seed to fill in patches.)

2. Build front columns

3. put gutters on garage

4. fix the drainage situation on the house

5. paint outdoor trim/window frames (they and the soffits are all black and so dreary)

6. paint garage door (got it on Craigslist for $100 :) while hubs was installing it, he managed to get (black) bearing grease all over it. In handprints. *sigh*

7. Finish deck. (our deck is old and extremely weathered, yet strong. We found if we flip the boards they're brand new on the other side. We're flipping, re-attaching them staining, and sealing them)

8. New porch lights

9. New address numbers

10. edging and stones (we have a u shaped driveway with a huge tree in the middle, we're going to edge the U and re-gravel it)

11. mulch Forsythia

12. paint flower boxes ( I have 2 huge flower boxes running along the entire front of the house. For some reason someone painted the top stones black and I'd like them to be brighter)

13. organize garage

14. buy shutters (Restore will be where I get them)

Today, we built our raised garden bed, put down some weed blocker fabric, and I've been weeding like crazy. We gardened last year with minimal success for way too much effort. Our soil is pure clay and it is a bitch to work with! I'm taking the lazy way out here and starting with store bought topsoil. I don't know the first thing about conditioning soil. My seeds are coming along nicely, and I can't wait to pop them into the new garden bed in a couple weeks.

My list was considerably longer last week, so I'm just happy it's down to these things..for now!

A Boohoo and a Hooah

A Boohoo: Hubs has been gone a lot this month, he's doing more training and is leaving for AT soon

A Hooah! the rain finally stopped and we're finally supposed to have nice weather! I've seen the sun 4 days this month ha!

You can link up HERE!

bacon video, yeah...

This just makes me laugh.

I had a surprisingly good day.

with no bacon

Deployment (again): Video linkup, week 6!

Deployment (again): Video Linkup, WEEK 5

This video is ridiculous! I found it a couple years ago and showed my little niece. Every once in a while she wants to watch it again, so I recently re-found it. Hope you like it :)

Join in this linkup over at :

Deployment (again): Video Linkup, WEEK 5