Waiting

A certain bird of prey is coming home to the USA in 7 days. He will be back in our hometown 5-10 days after that and finally the hell that is this deployment will end. It wasn't all bad, but the majority of it was something that I would never like to endure again. Since it was a deployment, that is a given, but still. Everything that could go wrong did. We almost broke up. However, somehow we made it through this and since we did that, we can do anything, I am certain. In October we will finally be wed. Its been a long 5 1/2 years and I can't wait to spend the next 70+ with this amazing man that is my Hawk. I am a dreamer at my most basic level, but my years have jaded me. I do not believe in marriage or forever or unconditional love. Despite this, somehow, Love found me and convinced me to ignore all logic and let this man in. He is a good man, a kind, loving man that would do anything for me and I adore him. Plain and simple. I was not brought up watching Disney fairy tales and reading books about princesses waiting for princes to save them. I was raised by a woman who worked every day of her life until her last day. She never depended on a man and yet she LOVED my Hawk. She wanted me to marry him! If this guy, my Sgt. can get THAT stamp of approval, well then he must be something special. 400 long, lonely days without the love of my life. An experience I hope to never repeat. But I know that there are hundred of thousands of girls in this situation. Not all of them miserable, but none as happy as me. Our story isn't one of delusional romantics, but it is after all a love story. It's a story I would like to tell...

Wedding planning is making me craaaazzzy

So we can't decide if we want to elope to Vegas or have a small (as I can possibly make it) ceremony here in town. I'd like to have a ceremony, and I even have ideas for it. The problem is planning is overwhelming, as I am not the most organized of people. Another thing is, well, I lost my mom 3 years ago and I don't have that support. My entire family consists of my dad and brother. I don't have any extended family at all. As Hawk will be home in 3 weeks, and the wedding date is THIS October, I am going to have to start making some decisions asap.