Not your average New Year's blog post

2012 will be a pivotal year for me. Well, they all are, aren't they? But 2011 was the first year I ever truly felt like an adult. It was not marred by a deployment or the death of anyone close to me. It also was one of my hardest years.

Reintegration after a deployment takes so much more time than you would ever expect.

It was a hard year, because I felt unproductive and 1/4 life-crisisy all year long. But next year (my 26th) I have to make some decisions. And decisions will also be made by others that affect me too.

I'm completely changing the course of my education. I hate that I'm STILL IN SCHOOL, but I did take a lot of time off to deal with life. I am a different person than I was 1 year ago today. And a better person, I can say without doubt.

I celebrated one year of marriage this October. I turned 25! I reached my goal weight through commitment and hard work. No shortcuts. I had heartbroken days and days I didn't want to end.

I don't make resolutions. But I do make goals, because they keep me on track. They keep me happy.

One of my goals for next year is to just let go. My past weighs me down, as I'm sure is normal when you lose your mom at such a young age. I was a child much longer than I've been an adult, yet, so most of my history is colored by memories of someone I love that I no longer have. And you know, she'd be SO "GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!"

I think the biggest challenge for me this year has been figuring out who the hell I am and how to allow myself the room to grow into who I'm meant to be. Which I'm doing. And I feel more Me everyday.

So, 2012;

• Be more present
• Focus on happiness
• Be more fearless

Anything that makes me happier and makes me feel more alive is an investment in myself.