Lovely Package Exchange!

I found this amazing blog and they are currently accepting signups for a Lovely Package Exchange!!

I am SO new to blogger and I am trying to figure out all the tricks for bells and whistles, but until I do I guess I'll just post the link to this Lovely blog:
Oh Hello Friend!
for more info on the package exchange, check it out! But hurry because the deadline is approaching!

Waiting

A certain bird of prey is coming home to the USA in 7 days. He will be back in our hometown 5-10 days after that and finally the hell that is this deployment will end. It wasn't all bad, but the majority of it was something that I would never like to endure again. Since it was a deployment, that is a given, but still. Everything that could go wrong did. We almost broke up. However, somehow we made it through this and since we did that, we can do anything, I am certain. In October we will finally be wed. Its been a long 5 1/2 years and I can't wait to spend the next 70+ with this amazing man that is my Hawk. I am a dreamer at my most basic level, but my years have jaded me. I do not believe in marriage or forever or unconditional love. Despite this, somehow, Love found me and convinced me to ignore all logic and let this man in. He is a good man, a kind, loving man that would do anything for me and I adore him. Plain and simple. I was not brought up watching Disney fairy tales and reading books about princesses waiting for princes to save them. I was raised by a woman who worked every day of her life until her last day. She never depended on a man and yet she LOVED my Hawk. She wanted me to marry him! If this guy, my Sgt. can get THAT stamp of approval, well then he must be something special. 400 long, lonely days without the love of my life. An experience I hope to never repeat. But I know that there are hundred of thousands of girls in this situation. Not all of them miserable, but none as happy as me. Our story isn't one of delusional romantics, but it is after all a love story. It's a story I would like to tell...

Wedding planning is making me craaaazzzy

So we can't decide if we want to elope to Vegas or have a small (as I can possibly make it) ceremony here in town. I'd like to have a ceremony, and I even have ideas for it. The problem is planning is overwhelming, as I am not the most organized of people. Another thing is, well, I lost my mom 3 years ago and I don't have that support. My entire family consists of my dad and brother. I don't have any extended family at all. As Hawk will be home in 3 weeks, and the wedding date is THIS October, I am going to have to start making some decisions asap.

Such a great song

I am nearing the end of a 400 day deployment. My Hawk will be home in abut 6 weeks and honestly, I dunno if I could take any more than that. I am back in school which is GREAT. I had to take a semester off and I missed it so much! I'm taking an interesting Medieval British Lit course and also an Early American History course, so Im surrounded by romance poets and war. Story of my life haha. Anyway I have always had an obsession with sad music. Mournful Irish ballads to current lovesick, heartbreak country songs, I love my despair. The new movie, "Dear John" based on a Nicholas Sparks novel has made this song the focus of it's commercials. The story is about a soldier and the girl that waits for him at home, so I identify with the plot. But I also LOVE the song.

Deployment. KISS MY ASS

Its been a year since DF deployed. His orders were for 400 days and he will be home in about 6 weeks. We dont have a date yet so I cant even look forward to it yet. You learn that fast, being in a mil family, don't believe any date because it'll change every single day. I dunno if the other branches are this ridiculous, but the Army Reserves are so disorganized that it makes life hell. Most of my friends turned out to be self-absorbed assholes so I pretty much cut everyone from my life. Also, DF's family didn't even try to keep in touch with him, so they're out too. He doesn't care, I don't care. All we do care about is each other, he's been so excited lately planning the wedding that he's like a little kid. Obviously in our relationship things are backwards. He's the one excited about the wedding, he is the one that wants kids, I remodel the house by myself LOL. My big scary soldier spends all his free time looking at table settings online. My life cracks me up, I feel like I'm in a cartoon sometimes. Gotta laugh, otherwise I'll never stop crying...

Blueberry pie and whipped cream

So now that the new year is right around the corner, I figured I may as well write a resolution blog like everyone else. However, mine is a bit different cause it's more of a list of things I really want to do. My one real resolution is that I'd like to handle disagreements with the Hawk better. Pre-deployment things got so bad, we weren't sure we'd make it. Things are great now, but it took a lot of work. Other than that, my list is shaping up quite well:

1. Train for a marathon. (Hawk and I are going to do this together)

2. Finish remodeling our spare bedroom.

3. Bake myself a blueberry pie from scratch! ( I can cook anything but never been a good baker)

4. Plant a garden

5. Learn to can food. (my tattoo artist is actually going to teach me)

6. Finish my degree!!

7. GET MY DRIVERS LICENSE

8. Lost 25 lbs this year, and I'm going to lose 25 more

I'm sure more things will get added. I never made a resolution before and it's not about making a commitment for a new year, but more of focusing on what makes me happy. (and keeps me out of trouble #7)

This year is going to be the biggest of my life. In March my Hawk is coming home from Iraq. In July our house becomes ours, free and clear. In October we are getting married on our 6th Anniversary! Also, I won't be able to map out the timeline until he gets home, but He has baby fever so we will be planning for that too!

New and Improved Ray Bird ;)

SO, I got my hair cut today. I cant exactly describe the relationship my hair and I have. In a nutshell, I was raised by hippies, my mom didnt cut her hair for 30 years and therefore I was not allowed to cut my hair until I was 18. Not kidding, I know its freakin' weird but it is what it is. So over the past 6 years I have been slowly losing the length. This year I cut a foot off, including 5 inches today. It's the shortest I've ever had it, obviously and it's taking some getting used to. I've always been known for my super long hair. It's my thing. However, I am a new woman and I need a new THING! After 11 months of living through this wretched deployment, 2 years of school and more life changes than I can count, I am not the same person anymore. I am independent, mature and professional. I needed my exterior to reflect that, so he I am! On a not so narcissistic note, my Hawk was given the new position of company commander today and his first mission as leader is TOMORROW!! It's a big responsibility and a huge step in his career. I'm so proud of him, he has come so far this past year too! It was so funny today as he told me how nervous he was that he might mess up tomorrow. He is the best soldier I've ever met. He takes his oath very serious and he is just intuitive about his job. In contrast, in civilian life hes like a big kid, as easy going as a human can be, and such a helpful kind man. Good luck to you Hawk, you got this!