SO Its 2:40 in the morning

I can't sleep. Uncharacteristically my baby dog, Guinness is curled up on my lap. He's usually running around destroying cities, but not today. Im supposed to be sleeping because I have to be up at 5 to do a charity walk. Its for a foundation called Out of the Darkness, and they work to promote suicide awareness and prevention. My Besties mom commited suicide when she was 13 so it is a cause close to our hearts. Another reason why I'm doing it personally is, I come from a military family and having at least a dozen good friends in the military, not to mention the Fiance, suicide rates are EXTREMELY high in the military and it scares me.
Speaking of the Fiance, I spent most of my night assembling a Halloween care package for my Hawk, I filled it with candy, homemade (from scratch) cookies, a couple of scary movies and some other surprises. When I put together these care packages, it takes me hours because I put so much thought into them. His family is worthless, they don't send him anything at all! Not even a freaking letter. He finally told me how much this upsets him, so I make extra special packages for him and write him lots of letters. The countdown is at 39 days! He will be here in a few short weeks, and I get 2 weeks uninterrupted with him.
I never thought I'd have to go through an entire year without my Hawk. October 20th will mark our 5 year anniversary, and we've been inseparable since day 1, literally. Hes my world and I know I'm his. We're lucky to have such an amazing relationship, but it makes this ridiculously hard.